So, since I have had a lot of "down" time lately, i have just been itching to create,and paint. I have a lot of ideas stewing for new paintings for our apartment and works of art. Yesterday, I told ROb how I am not really an artist anymore, and how I haven't really created a significant painting in such a long, long time. Because if I was, then I would be doing it more often! And then Rob told me: "I know why, because its just not that important to you right now!" WHAT!?!?-- That was my reaction and protested that it is important to me. He explained:"what is most important to you there is always enough time for. Right now, what is important to you is Benjamin, teaching him, and taking care so that our baby girl will have a good chance of making it to term."
And I thought about it for a min, and honestly, as much as I love being creative, painting and learning, right now in my life what I feel is the most important thing to me is my children. I will never regret not having painted x amount of paintings, or taken X amount of classes, ect. Because there is nothing else in the world that I would rather be doing. I love spending every moment with my sweet little boy! He is my world and I am his. The reality is, I am still creating. I am creating a home and environment full of dreams, opportunities and experiences for him. All which will impact his life forever. I am creating a bond and love between us that will never be replaceable. I will never regret the time, love and sacrifices that I have and will have to make for that little man and our daughter. And really, being a mother is who I am.
Right now, there isn't much I can do, but only the essential important things. The reality is, there is plenty of time for creating paintings!!! Soon, so soon I will be able to do more :) But for now, I can't complain, because I love being a mom.
4 comments:
thanks for this post! exactly what I needed to remind myself today!
I totally understand this! Way to put my thoughts into words. Sometimes I struggle because I can't sew right now. There is no way to do it with JJ running around. And I miss it. There is something so fulfilling about "creating" and being an "artist". But you are completely right. We are creating every day. These are days we will never get back and I do love every minute. Even the hard days. Thanks for the great reminder! Love Ya!
Wow, I needed to read that today. I have had a very hard last few days...well, week really. It seemed like nothing that I did with the girls during the day mattered, like when Casey came home I had nothing to show for my hours of trying to teach and nurture them. But on the rare day I had a minute to make or create something it was like oh, I accomplished something today because I can see it and hold it in my hands and show it to Casey.
But the nurturing that a mother does, or tries to do, is not tangible, but it is more important than the paintings we could paint. Why is it so hard to remember that sometimes. Satan really does know how to work on mothers!! He has been working me hard lately. Thanks for the reminder. Laura, hang in there. Your little girl and Benjamin are so very very lucky to have you as their mother. And I consider myself so very very lucky to be your friend, even if we only got to live next to each other for a short time. I really cherish that time we did. Love you!!
I'll just say "ditto" to the other comments. So refreshing to hear all of this because it's really true. There's a time and a season for everything. With little ones there really isn't much time for anything else. But nothing is more important than our little families. You are very wonderful, Laura. I, too, feel blessed to have you as a friend.
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